Dear reader,
This week, I did something immature that negatively impacted someone I care about, and I nearly lost our friendship because of it.
I was stressed and an old, not entirely healed, wound was rearing its head. My actions came from trying to reduce that, so naturally everything on the periphery that I would otherwise be aware of -like other people’s feelings, what’s right and wrong – went unchecked.
She confronted me – mindfully but honestly. It was so painful to have a mirror held up to my behaviour and see what I had done, yet I felt so grateful that she did because it meant becoming aware of what was going on within me which is an opportunity to grow and do things differently! I apologised, thanked her, acknowledged what I did, explained and sought to rectify. One nightmare and lots of anxiety later, I received her reply.
It was full of compassion, understanding and even upliftment and gratitude.
This is what the experience has made me think about:
- We all make mistakes, but if we’re willing to be honest with ourselves, do the work to recognise what drives our actions and be accountable for them, mistakes can be growth opportunities.
- The importance of honest, respectful communication: Even though it’s so difficult, we must not shy away from confronting issues directly and apologising sincerely. This can mend and even strengthen ties. Otherwise, we might lose a tooth when a filling at the right time would have sufficed.
- Compassion and understanding heal.
- The reminder to take my time and understand what is truly driving my actions – is it the real me? or old narratives/ fear/ stress?
How has stress or your conditioning caused you to act in ways that aren’t aligned with who you truly are? How did you address it?
Have you experienced growth through confrontation?
Love,
Jaimini